I found this song by Broods, Mother and Father, exemplifying exactly this. I think it is beautifully written and performed. It gives me a sense of hope and forgiveness.
Tuesday, February 24, 2015
Mothers and Fathers
As my husband and I approach the teenage years with our children the more we are starting to hear things like, "I wish I had different parents!" and, "Why can't you be more like me?" or, "If you weren't my parents I don't think I would ever have anything to say to you as regular people."...ooook. I know this will only get worse, and if it will be anything like how I was as a teen it will be MUCH worse. Looking back I can see that (at times) I was a pure brat. My hope is, and I do believe this is normal for a lot of people, that when they reach their twenties and begin living life on their own perspectives will change and physically (brain growth, hormones, etc.) things will begin to even out and altogether turning our children into well rounded young adults. This is when they will start to appreciate us again, as I did my parents.
I found this song by Broods, Mother and Father, exemplifying exactly this. I think it is beautifully written and performed. It gives me a sense of hope and forgiveness.
I found this song by Broods, Mother and Father, exemplifying exactly this. I think it is beautifully written and performed. It gives me a sense of hope and forgiveness.
Friday, February 20, 2015
How Can I Get My Daughter to Read?
I can remember back when I hated to read; it was in the third grade when things started to change for me. The turning point? I actually finished reading an entire book - Henry and the Paper Route by Beverly Cleary. The story itself was not as memorable, but I remember the satisfaction I felt when I had, for the first time, read the last page and closed a book from its back. Then there was the feeling of, 'now what?' I was left with such a sense of accomplishment that I felt I could read any book and therefore: GO anywhere, DO anything, and BE anyone.
I went up to the smartest girl in the class and asked her what she was reading. She too had just finished a book and was willing to let me borrow it until the bookmobile arrived at school the following week. After a quick shuffle through her desk she pulled out a hardback at least three times the size of Cleary's Henry. I was mortified and even more so when she asked what I had finished reading, searching for a fair swap. Before answering I backed out of the deal, telling her I wouldn't be able to read her book before it was due back. Her reply, "Are you sure? I had it done in three days." I remember this specifically because it took me almost three weeks to finish Henry. Before I thought I only hated reading, but now I knew I was bad at it too. It was another two years until I decided to try and finish another book again.
Unfortunately my daughter seems to have been plagued with the same fate, despite my efforts to intervene. Every year a teacher would tell us that she was either one or two grade levels behind in reading, but not to worry about it....just keep her reading. This turned out to be the ultimate challenge. As part of homework she was required to read 20 to 30 minutes depending on the teacher. She would regularly spend double that amount of time fighting me, desperate to find a way not to read at all. Someone listening in would think I was beating her with the book rather than coaxing her into reading it. The tantrums became part of our nightly routine and her loathing for books only deepened.
We did have her tested to ensure there was not a more mechanical issue keeping her from the enjoying the ample range of stories I had presented to her. (This was also something required for her to qualify for a 504 plan as the diagnosis of PANDAS and anxiety were not enough to satisfy the school.) All of the testing supported her mind's ability to see and interpret words within a range that did not require intervention.
This year in the 7th grade instead of having a teacher evaluate their reading level one on one, each student took a computerized assessment and at the end immediately received their own results. At the beginning of the school year our daughter was at a 5th grade 7 month level. She just took it again and was at a 5th grade 3 month level. Her interpretation? Not only does she hate reading, but she is bad at it too.
I have shared with her my love and hate history with reading, and expressed how it truly does take practice - just like anything else - and the more she reads the more she will enjoy it. We have made numerous trips to the library exploring different genres and topics. Checking out multiple books at a time she will make it one chapter in and give up - deciding the book is boring. Recently, I came across an article about a dad with a similar issue with his 2 boys, and his answer was to write a story starring his sons. This is going to be my next attempt. At age 12, my daughter is naturally self involved and if this is going to work now will be the time. I am hoping it will be like how she is more likely to eat a vegetable if she planted the seed, watered it, and watched it grow and flower into a zucchini.
I will keep you posted on the progress. In the meantime if you have any suggestions please let me know! elizabethgibbs.author@gmail.com
I went up to the smartest girl in the class and asked her what she was reading. She too had just finished a book and was willing to let me borrow it until the bookmobile arrived at school the following week. After a quick shuffle through her desk she pulled out a hardback at least three times the size of Cleary's Henry. I was mortified and even more so when she asked what I had finished reading, searching for a fair swap. Before answering I backed out of the deal, telling her I wouldn't be able to read her book before it was due back. Her reply, "Are you sure? I had it done in three days." I remember this specifically because it took me almost three weeks to finish Henry. Before I thought I only hated reading, but now I knew I was bad at it too. It was another two years until I decided to try and finish another book again.
Unfortunately my daughter seems to have been plagued with the same fate, despite my efforts to intervene. Every year a teacher would tell us that she was either one or two grade levels behind in reading, but not to worry about it....just keep her reading. This turned out to be the ultimate challenge. As part of homework she was required to read 20 to 30 minutes depending on the teacher. She would regularly spend double that amount of time fighting me, desperate to find a way not to read at all. Someone listening in would think I was beating her with the book rather than coaxing her into reading it. The tantrums became part of our nightly routine and her loathing for books only deepened.
We did have her tested to ensure there was not a more mechanical issue keeping her from the enjoying the ample range of stories I had presented to her. (This was also something required for her to qualify for a 504 plan as the diagnosis of PANDAS and anxiety were not enough to satisfy the school.) All of the testing supported her mind's ability to see and interpret words within a range that did not require intervention.
This year in the 7th grade instead of having a teacher evaluate their reading level one on one, each student took a computerized assessment and at the end immediately received their own results. At the beginning of the school year our daughter was at a 5th grade 7 month level. She just took it again and was at a 5th grade 3 month level. Her interpretation? Not only does she hate reading, but she is bad at it too.
I have shared with her my love and hate history with reading, and expressed how it truly does take practice - just like anything else - and the more she reads the more she will enjoy it. We have made numerous trips to the library exploring different genres and topics. Checking out multiple books at a time she will make it one chapter in and give up - deciding the book is boring. Recently, I came across an article about a dad with a similar issue with his 2 boys, and his answer was to write a story starring his sons. This is going to be my next attempt. At age 12, my daughter is naturally self involved and if this is going to work now will be the time. I am hoping it will be like how she is more likely to eat a vegetable if she planted the seed, watered it, and watched it grow and flower into a zucchini.
I will keep you posted on the progress. In the meantime if you have any suggestions please let me know! elizabethgibbs.author@gmail.com
Saturday, September 27, 2014
Fur Baby Therapy
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| We decided to get our yorkie Willow as a therapy dog for our PANDAS daughter when she was struggling with reading. Months later my husband and I realized how much therapy we each ended up receiving from her as well .... comfort, a reason to make us exercise together, and tons of comic relief. Here is a link to a great article I found about the first therapy dog (also a yorkie!) .... Therapy Dogs Change Lives. |
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| We recently rescued another fur baby...Piper! This way I won't get as jealous when Willow wants to snuggle with someone else. :) |
Friday, September 26, 2014
Another Reason to Love Sam Smith
I was listening to the radio when they casually mentioned before playing one of Sam Smith's songs that he has Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Naturally that caught my attention being the parent of a child who has battled OCD along with PANDAS for years now. I did a quick web search and sure enough the fact was confirmed on this video by Sam himself along with some other forms of anxiety.
So why did I find this exceptional when there are plenty of people out there with this problem? Prior to knowing this I was already absorbed by the reality presented in Sam's art through the honesty of his lyrics and the emotion inflicted in his voice. When I listen to music I want to *feel* something and his music far exceeds this expectation.
One song in particular that I wanted to highlight as a PANDAS parent was In The Lonely Hour. In this I hear the voice of our children who desperately need us there for them as they endure these horrid moments PANDAS forces into their lives. Anyone who has dealt with any level of depression knows that it is possible to feel lonely in the most crowded of rooms. Our children sit in overfilled classrooms with rarely one soul that understands what they are going through. I think of all the hours my daughter has cried and as her mother I was lost in how to comfort her...what to say or do. Now I know what I did or said will not be what my daughter remembers, it will be that I was there with her in those lonely hours. I respect Sam Smith's bravery in opening his heart to us all and thank him for giving our children a humanized celebrity whom offers absolute empathy.
Here is a live clip of In The Lonely Hour...
So why did I find this exceptional when there are plenty of people out there with this problem? Prior to knowing this I was already absorbed by the reality presented in Sam's art through the honesty of his lyrics and the emotion inflicted in his voice. When I listen to music I want to *feel* something and his music far exceeds this expectation.
One song in particular that I wanted to highlight as a PANDAS parent was In The Lonely Hour. In this I hear the voice of our children who desperately need us there for them as they endure these horrid moments PANDAS forces into their lives. Anyone who has dealt with any level of depression knows that it is possible to feel lonely in the most crowded of rooms. Our children sit in overfilled classrooms with rarely one soul that understands what they are going through. I think of all the hours my daughter has cried and as her mother I was lost in how to comfort her...what to say or do. Now I know what I did or said will not be what my daughter remembers, it will be that I was there with her in those lonely hours. I respect Sam Smith's bravery in opening his heart to us all and thank him for giving our children a humanized celebrity whom offers absolute empathy.
Here is a live clip of In The Lonely Hour...
Thursday, September 25, 2014
Awareness Day!
Be sure to spread awareness this October! Check out pandasnetwork.org for more info.
My daughter and I will be participating in the Ohio Awareness Walk on the 25th. Here is the link if you would like to join our team or make a donation... Team Gibbs.
Saturday, September 20, 2014
PANDAS at its Worst
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| I keep this picture, as sad as it is, to remind me of how far my daughter has come in her battle with PANDAS. She was like this everyday for over a year, crying for no reason and fighting me as I tried to help her. A terrible way to spend even a moment of your childhood. |
Saturday, August 30, 2014
Follow Your Dreams...
Sounds so cliche sometimes doesn't it? Not to an 11 year old girl. Coming from the mind of a PANDAS child maybe?...or simply the mind of a child...I repeatedly get asked the same question over and over (and over), "Mommy, why didn't you follow your dream?"
The first couple of times I was surprised by the question wondering what made her think I had not. When challenged with this she states how her step dad went to school for 'computers' and that's what he does, her aunt went to school to be a nurse and that's what she does, and so on. "But you," she says "went to school for photography and work for a bank. Doesn't that make you sad?"
Finding the words to express how discovering myself pregnant at 22 while in an abusive relationship resulted in an independent and determined young single mother who needed a reliable job she could get based on experience rather than academics and talent...was not easy. By now I have it pretty much summed up..."I am living my dream - I was given the best job in the world when you were born. I love being your mom and that could never make me sad."
This will make her smile briefly, soon to be followed by a concerned look I know so well. I promise her I will still take pictures and find a way to show them to the world - even if I don't get paid for it - and the smile returns. I love that she cares but it breaks my heart that my daughter adds more worry to her life based on what I have done (or failed to do) with my own. I decided to use this space to share some of my photography and make my daughter proud!
**I have added a New Photography Tab for a page dedicated to this.**
The first couple of times I was surprised by the question wondering what made her think I had not. When challenged with this she states how her step dad went to school for 'computers' and that's what he does, her aunt went to school to be a nurse and that's what she does, and so on. "But you," she says "went to school for photography and work for a bank. Doesn't that make you sad?"
Finding the words to express how discovering myself pregnant at 22 while in an abusive relationship resulted in an independent and determined young single mother who needed a reliable job she could get based on experience rather than academics and talent...was not easy. By now I have it pretty much summed up..."I am living my dream - I was given the best job in the world when you were born. I love being your mom and that could never make me sad."
This will make her smile briefly, soon to be followed by a concerned look I know so well. I promise her I will still take pictures and find a way to show them to the world - even if I don't get paid for it - and the smile returns. I love that she cares but it breaks my heart that my daughter adds more worry to her life based on what I have done (or failed to do) with my own. I decided to use this space to share some of my photography and make my daughter proud!
**I have added a New Photography Tab for a page dedicated to this.**
Sunday, November 24, 2013
Delicious Fresh Produce the Easy Way
One way that Fibromyalgia has changed my everyday life is the ability to grocery shop. This is a task that I have never truly enjoyed and admittedly dread, but with what my body has been going through it is something I can no longer physically do on my own. I prefer to go once every three to four weeks and stock up as a way to lessen the burden.
The only problem with this is getting everything to fit in the freezer and relying on canned or frozen produce after the first week and a half. I am excited to share a solution that I discovered recently...Green Bean Delivery. With this I can order my produce and some of the other weekly essentials online and have them delivered either weekly or biweekly. I was most impressed to see that they carry the only gluten free bread that my PANDAS daughter loves to eat, Udi's white sandwich bread, along with eggs and soy milk. We received our first delivery a few days ago and I was beyond pleased with the ease of the process and quality of the products. I was inspired to share my delight with a few quick snapshots....
Saturday, November 2, 2013
Sensory Sympathies and Fibromyalgia
Typically I share about my daughter's health issues, but today I thought I would let everyone in on what has been going on with me lately. It started back in January of this year when I had a vicious attack of vertigo that lasted for about three days. After that the vertigo was still there and was provoked every time I moved my head, but was at least calm while I was still. This led to time spent with an ENT, Neurologist, 8 weeks of physical therapy, and a MRI...all of which determined I had something known as Vestibular Neuritis. Basically this is inflammation of the nerve that sends messages to the brain from the balance organs in the inner ear. What puzzled the doctors was why the nerve was not healing, allowing the brain to adjust to the new level of balance and let me move on with the rest of my life. Normally this happens within a couple of months at the longest. At this point I was a good six months in.
About two months ago I was visiting my family doctor, who had been keeping tabs on all of this and trying different medications in order to get me some relief. She happened to catch me on an extra grumbly day. I vented everything that had been bothering me, which ended up being much more than the vertigo once I laid it all out. Some of these gripes included:
*Achy flu type feeling throughout my body* I would also have a burning sensation in my muscles when doing anything physical....like in my thighs from walking up the stairs. I felt as if I had done 100 squats where as in reality I had only climbed 10 steps.
*Tired all the time and easily exhausted* Even by the most 'normal' of activities, like running the sweeper or going to the grocery.
*Having trouble concentrating* It was like I knew people were talking to me...I could see their lips moving and could hear that words were coming out. I was even engaging them with head nods and eye contact but was having trouble processing what they were saying well enough to make a remotely intelligent reply. Many times I would need to ask clarifying questions about things that should have been obvious. This has been one of the most challenging things for me at work when speaking with colleagues and customers. I feel like I must look like a total idiot and fear loosing the respect from those I have worked so hard to earn it from.
Once my doctor took all this in she said, "Well, that sounds like Fibromyalgia. Does anyone else in your family have a history with this that you are aware of?" Actually yes doc. Both my father and sister are dealing with Fibromyalgia. How could I have not made the connection sooner? One thing I was not aware of is the interference this creates with the nerves - resulting in the aches and pains, but also could very well be the problem with my vestibular nerve. A few weeks on a fibro med and my vertigo has quieted tremendously.
One thing I have encountered with this that brings me back to PANDAS is the extra sensitivity to touch. This is something my daughter has struggled with for years. So many times she told me her jeans 'hurt' and as compassionate as I was I never could really understand. It was a couple of weekends ago when I was laying on the bed watching TV and just could not get comfortable. The seam on my jeans was pushing up against my knee and I honestly said, "This *hurts*!!" I am pleased to say I have found something good thing in all of this...genuine empathy.
I still need to see a specialist for an official diagnosis, but at least with this medication I feel like I have some of my life back...so hopefully you will be seeing more posts from me!
About two months ago I was visiting my family doctor, who had been keeping tabs on all of this and trying different medications in order to get me some relief. She happened to catch me on an extra grumbly day. I vented everything that had been bothering me, which ended up being much more than the vertigo once I laid it all out. Some of these gripes included:
*Achy flu type feeling throughout my body* I would also have a burning sensation in my muscles when doing anything physical....like in my thighs from walking up the stairs. I felt as if I had done 100 squats where as in reality I had only climbed 10 steps.
*Tired all the time and easily exhausted* Even by the most 'normal' of activities, like running the sweeper or going to the grocery.
*Having trouble concentrating* It was like I knew people were talking to me...I could see their lips moving and could hear that words were coming out. I was even engaging them with head nods and eye contact but was having trouble processing what they were saying well enough to make a remotely intelligent reply. Many times I would need to ask clarifying questions about things that should have been obvious. This has been one of the most challenging things for me at work when speaking with colleagues and customers. I feel like I must look like a total idiot and fear loosing the respect from those I have worked so hard to earn it from.
Once my doctor took all this in she said, "Well, that sounds like Fibromyalgia. Does anyone else in your family have a history with this that you are aware of?" Actually yes doc. Both my father and sister are dealing with Fibromyalgia. How could I have not made the connection sooner? One thing I was not aware of is the interference this creates with the nerves - resulting in the aches and pains, but also could very well be the problem with my vestibular nerve. A few weeks on a fibro med and my vertigo has quieted tremendously.
One thing I have encountered with this that brings me back to PANDAS is the extra sensitivity to touch. This is something my daughter has struggled with for years. So many times she told me her jeans 'hurt' and as compassionate as I was I never could really understand. It was a couple of weekends ago when I was laying on the bed watching TV and just could not get comfortable. The seam on my jeans was pushing up against my knee and I honestly said, "This *hurts*!!" I am pleased to say I have found something good thing in all of this...genuine empathy.
I still need to see a specialist for an official diagnosis, but at least with this medication I feel like I have some of my life back...so hopefully you will be seeing more posts from me!
Friday, September 27, 2013
PANDAS Eyes
One thing that has been very reliable in detecting an oncoming PANDAS flare up in my daughter is simply the look in her eyes. I tried to capture this 'look' in a photograph since I have been looking for a way to best describe this to her pediatrician and other parents. It was when I was cropping the image that I realized just how similar her "PANDAS" eyes are to those of a real panda bear. Droopy, dark circles, and abnormal pupils. Both sets of eyes make me want to give them each a big Mama Bear hug.
Panda image obtained from fellow blogger....http://chengxiao123456.blog.com/page/4/
Panda image obtained from fellow blogger....http://chengxiao123456.blog.com/page/4/
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