Fur Baby Therapy

We decided to get our yorkie Willow as a therapy dog for our
PANDAS daughter when she was struggling with reading.
Months later my husband and I realized how much therapy
we each ended up receiving from her as well .... comfort, a
reason to make us exercise together, and tons of comic relief.
Here is a link to a great article I found about the first therapy
dog (also a yorkie!) ....  Therapy Dogs Change Lives.

We recently rescued another fur baby...Piper!  This way I won't
 get as jealous when Willow wants to snuggle with someone else. :)

Another Reason to Love Sam Smith

I was listening to the radio when they casually mentioned before playing one of Sam Smith's songs that he has Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.  Naturally that caught my attention being the parent of a child who has battled OCD along with PANDAS for years now.  I did a quick web search and sure enough the fact was confirmed on this video by Sam himself along with some other forms of anxiety.

So why did I find this exceptional when there are plenty of people out there with this problem?  Prior to knowing this I was already absorbed by the reality presented in Sam's art through the honesty of his lyrics and the emotion inflicted in his voice.  When I listen to music I want to *feel* something and his music far exceeds this expectation.

One song in particular that I wanted to highlight as a PANDAS parent was In The Lonely Hour.  In this I hear the voice of our children who desperately need us there for them as they endure these horrid moments PANDAS forces into their lives.  Anyone who has dealt with any level of depression knows that it is possible to feel lonely in the most crowded of rooms.  Our children sit in overfilled classrooms with rarely one soul that understands what they are going through.  I think of all the hours my daughter has cried and as her mother I was lost in how to comfort her...what to say or do.  Now I know what I did or said will not be what my daughter remembers, it will be that I was there with her in those lonely hours.  I respect Sam Smith's bravery in opening his heart to us all and thank him for giving our children a humanized celebrity whom offers absolute empathy.

Here is a live clip of In The Lonely Hour...

Awareness Day!

Be sure to spread awareness this October!  Check out pandasnetwork.org for more info.

My daughter and I will be participating in the Ohio Awareness Walk on the 25th.  Here is the link if you would like to join our team or make a donation... Team Gibbs.

PANDAS at its Worst

I keep this picture, as sad as it is, to remind me of how
far my daughter has come in her battle with PANDAS.
She was like this everyday for over a year,
crying for no reason and fighting me as I tried to help her.
A terrible way to spend even a moment of your childhood.

Follow Your Dreams...

Sounds so cliche sometimes doesn't it?  Not to an 11 year old girl.  Coming from the mind of a PANDAS child maybe?...or simply the mind of a child...I repeatedly get asked the same question over and over (and over), "Mommy, why didn't you follow your dream?"

The first couple of times I was surprised by the question wondering what made her think I had not.  When challenged with this she states how her step dad went to school for 'computers' and that's what he does, her aunt went to school to be a nurse and that's what she does, and so on.  "But you," she says "went to school for photography and work for a bank.  Doesn't that make you sad?"

Finding the words to express how discovering myself pregnant at 22 while in an abusive relationship resulted in an independent and determined young single mother who needed a reliable job she could get based on experience rather than academics and talent...was not easy.  By now I have it pretty much summed up..."I am living my dream - I was given the best job in the world when you were born.  I love being your mom and that could never make me sad."

This will make her smile briefly, soon to be followed by a concerned look I know so well.  I promise her I will still take pictures and find a way to show them to the world - even if I don't get paid for it - and the smile returns.  I love that she cares but it breaks my heart that my daughter adds more worry to her life based on what I have done (or failed to do) with my own.  I decided to use this space to share some of my photography and make my daughter proud!

**I have added a New Photography Tab for a page dedicated to this.**